No Resolutions Here

Not a resolution fan? Me either. Packing all your hopes and dreams into some pressure-filled time frame known to be so quickly abandoned it’s a cliche?…I’ll pass. But I so love some quiet moments at the end of the year to reflect on what has happened, lessons learned, goals met and how I want to direct the upcoming year.

Holy cow. At first pass I say “buh-bye” 2019. Parenting was Haaaaard. My Dad was fond of sharing “little people, little problems, bigger people, bigger problems”. Some around me seem to sail through their kid’s teenage years. I have not found this to be the case. And as we have gotten deeper into them, I have tried so hard to remind myself what it was like to be there myself a million years ago. And how utterly selfish and ridiculous some of my own antics were. And I know more patience is required and always love. There will never be a higher calling for me or a more important purpose that I am destined to fulfill than Motherhood. Yet it is tough and this past year I needed a helmet.

But amidst all the parenting gyrations, some of the most joyous moments were those spent with all three kids tucked in under our roof, just hanging out and being together. My oldest is in his Senior year and things will soon be forever changed. It’s a little easier to be more patient with this focus in mind.

A cancer diagnosis made it’s way into the fabric of my family as well as a scary and sobering surgery for my husband this Summer. Amidst the stresses of work-life balance, parenting teens and oftentimes retreating to our own corners just to survive the day-to-day, we emerged stronger.

We said forever goodbyes to family members and friends.

When these moments in life came wave after wave, it pushed the boundaries of what deserves my time and attention and what can be left behind. The clarity it brings is stunning. Some things just don’t make the priority list anymore. And that is okay.

Two words emerged and they will direct 2020: Simplify and Self-care. I will be able to keep up with the pace this year will surely demand if I put on my own oxygen mask first. And I am evaluating ways to increase my odds of being successful in this area.

Last year Gratitude and Joy were the anchors with which I started the year. And experience taught me to find the joy in the midst of moments I felt most ungrateful for. And the joyous moments became all the more appreciated.

What about you? Have you felt compelled to reflect and evaluate? If you do, I would love to know what you come up with. Leave me a comment.

Happy New Year.

© Jennifer Scheidt and Titanimom, 2020. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jennifer Scheidt and Titanimom with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

A Few of My Favorite Gifts (I know I’m Late)

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So I’ll admit it. I am behind the times. Any blogger worth her salt has done her holiday post, her New Year’s musings, resolutions, whatever. Recap, re-hash, renew.

As for what has been consuming my time, (see The Roller Coaster Ride has Begun) it’s a wonder I brush my teeth twice a day lately. Let alone sit down to tap the keyboard.

But these thoughts have been rattling in my head for awhile now. And I guess the writer in me cannot let them stay there – outdated and oh-so-passé as they may already be.

So here goes…

Remember when you were a little kid and after Christmas break the teacher might go around and ask “What is the favorite gift you received for Christmas?” (Or was that just my teachers who asked that?? In which case, this segue will make no sense.)

My favorite gifts? This is the first year a motion was made among a portion of my side of the family not to exchange presents for the kids. It is also the first year my husband and I did not open a single envelope, gift card, candy wrapper or box from each other. LESS STUFF to jam in closets or drawers or cabinets. Fewer items to wrap. Just fun times enjoying each other’s company.  Less is more!

A run with friends early in the morning on Christmas Eve. Quiet. Not too cold, but cold enough. Great conversation. Good connections. Mind-clearing. Effortless.

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A favorite gift is always the familiarity of tradition. We visit the same three houses in the area, in the same order over Christmas Eve through Christmas Day. There is something so comforting to me about this practice. And yet it has been jostled around a bit over the years, tweaked and changed. And I know as time passes (serious gulp) it will again. Til one day maybe we are the ones whose house our kids will flock to with their children? Idyllic. Still bittersweet for what it may mean.

Then add in a 3-day migraine and nauseous stomach that started in the middle of Mockingjay on Tuesday and carried right on through the Ball Drop and into the Bowl Games. Pajamas all day on New Year’s and a nap that took me right past lunch. The sounds of screaming toddlers, sibling rivalry, Ice forced to bring a little hammer down and one young, single nephew sitting back and laughing hysterically at all of it. Now this was a twist.

But all of this pales in comparison to how truly challenging it was for me to wrap my brain around the addition of another child in our midst. One who comes with such love and quiet grace. One who comes with misunderstood anger and unknown history. And one who was placed in my life to teach me things I am only just beginning to scratch the surface of each day. It didn’t escape me how absolutely perfect it was that he came to us at this of all times of the year.

I’ve already shared my feelings about the traditional hype of a New Year’s Resolution (not a fan – see 2013, Thank you for the Lessons) but I see nothing wrong with being a work in progress and making a conscious effort to focus on and chip away at the “yucky stuff”. Not some magic switch that I’m going to flip all of a sudden but maybe more like a dimmer switch.  It gradually turns on til BAM! I see the light. I get it now. This is the way I should handle something or let go of something or embrace something.

So. Better late than never. Hope you made it to the end without going:

“Ick, she is so last week.”

Hope your 2015 is

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© Jennifer Scheidt and Titanimom, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jennifer Scheidt and Titanimom with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.