I love being a work in progress. I’ve made so much peace with that.~Mariska Hargitay
A quote I heard yesterday in an interview with the actress. YES!
Resonated with me so strongly. It is a hard-fought road to get to the place where one can say this and mean it to the core. It is a messy, painful, glorious, emotional, blessed and treasured journey to get there.
It is the very reason I have not lived in this precious space for over two years. Too immersed in raising teens, journeying through several serious health conditions with three generations of three of the most important people in my life, nurturing some intense personal development and just trying to breathe. I could not bring myself to carve out the time to create. It was a marathon for reflection, focus, faith and acceptance.
How I have missed this outlet. It’s been getting to a crescendo and then the voice in my head bent on sabotage snuck in one too many times. But this time, I have a much more forceful reply. It will not dictate where I can go or what I can do. It might be a daily reminder. It might be by the hour. But I still hold fast to dreams, to growth, to hope and to new adventures. And I will be working some of that out here once again.
So now the trip…My Mom always said it’s fun to have something to look forward to. I feel like I have lived my life looking forward to things. The upcoming concert, the big party, the wedding, the birth of a child and on and on. The trip I was looking forward to for a couple of years is now over in a blink. And looking back, Mom is right – the anticipation was fun!
Five women leaving their spouses and kids behind for adventure, Florida sun and sand, daily transportation by trolley, side-splitting laughter and snorts, inside jokes, vodka tonics (too many!) and very little sleep – how lucky am I?
It was so fun to learn more about these women in my life as the trip unfolded. We had everything covered from the navigator who rode shotgun to the cook who prepared the best homemade scrambled eggs in recent memory. From the “cruise director” who planned our big excursion to the best parallel parker who shouted turn by turn instructions from the back seat (thank you). And for each one liner that had us all in hysterics I’m sure there is a stand-up comedian somewhere who is jealous.
I loved hanging out in the company of four great friends anticipating the half marathon we would all run together, the relief we would feel when it was over and the ensuing celebration. Having put a lot of pressure on myself to make this race count and try for a “PR” or personal record I was very focused on making that happen. However, I was never so relaxed before a race as on this trip. It could have been the location, the company I was with, the vodka tonics or the delirious lack of sleep. But it was a new and welcome feeling!
However the highlight of the race was not conquering the course or meeting the goal. It was witnessing a friend face the unknown, overcome many hurdles in her training, doubt herself regularly and still show up no matter what. It was watching her smile and wave at the eighth mile and seeing that same smile at the thirteenth mile. Many times throughout the course I thought of her and hoped that she wasn’t wishing I had not dragged her into this experience! And when she crossed that finish line it was such a huge victory and we savored it with her.
I do not know when I will have another opportunity to experience something like this trip again. But that is not for me to worry about. I have these sunburned body parts, these wonderful memories, these amazing friends. Mission accomplished.