Author: Titanimom by Jennifer Scheidt

Titanimom by Jennifer Scheidthttp://www.titanimom.com/40-something work from home Mom with a husband and 3 kids living on the edge of stress, bless and a little town I like to call Wineville. I am trying to lift my eyes daily to the amazing and inspired happening within and all around. Celebrating the strength, humor, chaos and love it takes to be a woman and a Mom. Gonna roll with the ups and downs and look for the humor along the way. There will be some, right?? Did I mention I obsessively collect recipes I never make, paper clutter I never make time to organize and dream of ocean air, sand in my toes and the book I'm gonna write? There, now we are acquainted.

How’s that Forty and Fearless Thing Working Out?

Today marks not only the celebration of St. Patrick and a culturally accepted excuse to take off work and slam beers at 9 a.m. but also one remarkable year since I committed to taking baby steps towards conquering the scary: blogging. (For those that started following my blog later in the year, Forty and Fearless was the first entry.)

I met my fourth decade with excitement of new adventures, new discoveries and a desire to shed a slowly less adventurous Jen. Writing through this past year has been an eye-opening experience and one that I wish I had started sooner, like exercising regularly and drinking strong black coffee.

It occurred to me recently while watching Twinkle Toes bend her body back like a pretzel while flinging her legs over her head, what happened to swinging backwards off the monkey bars with no hands? Where did the mogul jumps and back handspring attempts go? I used to have the nickname “Conan” in my circle of junior high friends for my beach volleyball serve. Yet if you had seen me this summer, you would have wondered if I even knew how to identify a volleyball.

My kids have watched a video of their Mom willingly jumping out of a perfectly good airplane at 14,000 feet. Would that happen now? Too much at stake. I wasn’t a mother then.

The last eleven years have been supporting my children’s efforts to be the best they can be. Yet too few times taking a step back and wondering, would they be proud of me and my efforts?

For example, watching Techno play basketball this season. Getting thrown to the ground, diving for the ball with the thud to prove it, being wacked in the face and injured in other ways countless times, all the while in front of crowds of people and all the while being scrutinized for his every move. Did he hustle enough? Did he defend the basket as he should? Did he pour every ounce he had in to the game?

I do not know if I would have the stuff he has to take those risks. Good for him.

I have a friend who is preparing to give cancer a one, two punch for the second time. Not a fair burden to dole out to anyone, yet she gets chosen to stand at the front of that line twice. I am so humbled. I met the surprise blessing of pregnancy at age 39 with nary a stitch of humor. And her attitude right out of the gates is one that inspires me beyond measure.

Ice just came through to the other side of a big life transition by starting a new job today. The first time in 10 years. He did it with faith, peace and an optimism of which I am in awe. His actions never made me feel anxiety about what the future would hold for our family. Only confidence that he believed something better was awaiting him and all of us.

After all, we have come to the end of our certification process for placement of our first foster (maybe forever!) child and THEN he loses his job?? This.Does.Not.Compute. There has to be a bigger plan.

So I was sitting in an office a little over a week ago reading an article while waiting for my mammogram. A Life Less Cautious: Getting up the nerve with help from an unlikely mentor And a quote from this essay just blew me away.

“My bravery ebbs and flows, but ultimately I always get back out there…the world opens its arms just as wide for the fearful as it does for the fearless.” ~Ellen Welty

I feel like the simple act of putting fingers to the keyboard has given me a place to sort out, organize, catalog and lay bare for the world the things that amaze and inspire me, make me feel inept and inadequate or call me to action. And in some strange way it has held me accountable for what I write and what I do.

Let me write it now, I am surrounded by courageous, amazing people every day who inspire me. Getting a whiff of strength and fearlessness from others can translate into action, ebb and flow as it might. And in doing so I am hopeful that I will find more ways to make life easier and more comfortable for those around me, strangers and loved ones alike. Because when I am fearful and edgy, I really am a pain in the ass. It’s okay, I know it.

Everyday Moment

Inspired by the blog Daftly Domestic. A single moment captured from the last week. Reminds me of a wall hanging my aunt had in her home when her kids were younger. It caught my eye every time I passed it. It read:

Quiet down cobwebs

Dust go to sleep

I’m rocking my baby

and babies don’t keep…

How I remembered that, I’ll never know. It’s been years since I’ve seen it. It no longer graces the wall anymore. Most likely stored away. I thought I would have to call her to jar my memory for the words. But when I really thought about it, it just came to me. Must have made an impression even I could not imagine. Kind of like my kiddos.

“Rapid Fire Like a Machine Gun of Awesomeness”

Olympics: Snowboarding-Ladies' Halfpipe Finals

Kaitlyn Harrington (center) Andrew P. Scott-USA TODAY Sports

My favorite quote out of the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi. What woman wouldn’t want THIS said about them? This quote was used to describe Kaitlyn Harrington’s second snowboard run in the women’s halfpipe event before she won the gold medal. Outstanding.

The more back story given, the more complex the pre-run routine, the higher the air, the more I loved it. Always hitching a breath if I thought someone was going to fall. And there were some pretty brutal falls.

Guy Rhodes-USA TODAY Sports

I am a huge fan of the Olympics, winter or summer. Always have been. It was promoted four to six months ahead of time on my local network. I looked forward to it with anticipation. It seemed so far off. It came. It went. I barely got to watch any of it.

Laundry, dishes, bath time, bedtime routines. Let’s be honest. A cursory glance at Facebook or my Pinterest page, texting, late night snacking, shoveling a foot of snow (see Nine Rounds post) catching up on some of the 27 shows I have recorded that I “need” to watch. And why not another last load of laundry?

I wish I had made it more of a priority because it’s another two-year wait until I can get my next fix.

In thinking of ways in my daily life I can be a “rapidly firing machine gun of awesomeness” not too many opportunities come to mind. I think my window has closed. But if I spot it in another amazing female I encounter I will be sure to tell her.

Me and My Boy: Nine Rounds with the Driveway

So I haven’t had the pleasure of firing up the snow blower in several years. I mostly make sure I am feverishly working on some other indoor project when it’s time to shovel. Or I have a baby and nurse that baby right through winter so I always have a reason to stay comfortably sedentary on the couch. (Currently that baby is done nursing but she is a 19-month-old holy terror that needs to be watched AT ALL TIMES. And I am happy to be the one to do it during shoveling time.)

But yes, another smack of this never-ending blast of winter hit the Midwest and left Ice diverted on a plane from Nashville to Dubuque. Dubuque is not O’Hare. O’Hare is where his car was parked. He was supposed to get home the same day. Not 4 or 5 in the morning the next day by driving himself and several others heading in the same direction in a rental car.

When the situation was discovered it was a momentary realization…”Oh, crap. Me and my boy have to tackle this ourselves.”

Being the domestic Goddess I am, I had been busy all afternoon. I knew it was snowing like crazy but had no real knowledge of how much had hit the ground til the garage door went up. God bless Techno for heading out there first despite five minutes of pre-teen grumbling, over-exaggerated sighs and protests. Meanwhile I searched for my warmest socks and my serious snow-shoveling boots.

Techno got one shovel in the snow. One. This wasn’t happening.

I tried to reach Ice for directions on how to fire up the beast of a snow blower we have. It’s got some serious horsepower and kind of scares me a little. He didn’t answer.

We had to figure this out ourselves. Remembering that I had been in charge of this detestable job one other time when he was out-of-town and written down the highlights I searched the junk drawer for this nugget of gold. BINGO! I hit pay dirt.

Techno and I stood in the garage reading, double-checking and doing. We got that baby humming like a Maserati and then clicked the choke one too many times to the left and it died. So close.

We tried again and this time got it working. We were excited. And Techno had just come off his Dad’s Snow Blower Training Academy recently so he knew how to operate it.

The city’s street plow was just barreling through when we finally made it out. So I had a fresh mound of ice chunks and snow that stood at least three to four feet tall at the edge of the driveway to play with. Good times.

Techno carefully navigated the driveway and threw that snow. I huffed and puffed at my chosen station like I was Richard Simmons Sweatin’ to the Oldies. Turns out there is catharsis in showing that driveway whose boss. I haven’t seen the pavement on the driveway for weeks. And once I saw a glimpse of that wet brown concrete it was like a sign that there IS life after winter and I was in a HUGE hurry to get there.

The feeling of accomplishment while working with Techno and tackling this task we both were feeling ill-equipped to handle was pure joy. I was so proud of him for not only following but remembering his Dad’s instructions and being such an enormous help. An hour later we were victorious.

Bring it on. No really, just stop.

Guest Post: Organizing Kids Clothes

For me, a cluttered and chaotic space equates to the same for my day. Don’t get me wrong, I have a junk drawer (and a junk counter!) in my command central area. But being organized in many aspects of my home frees my attention for more important matters of the day.

The following valuable information comes from Bonnie Joy Dewkett, Certified Professional Organizer®. I am grateful for the opportunity to partner with her to share her expertise and tips with you. She’s good, she’s really good…Now get your de-clutter on!

Kids have lots of clothes. While they are tiny, that doesn’t make them any easier to organize! Since kids grow so quickly, you need lots of clothes in lots of sizes. Add in clothes for the change of seasons, hand me downs and saving clothes for your next child, and you may soon be overrun with adorable outfits!

I wanted to give you some tips on ways and techniques to store and organize all those clothes.

1. Pick a time to sort. If you don’t put it on your schedule, you will never find the time. Some people like to have kids around to help. Others, prefer to get a babysitter so they can organize in quiet.

2. Have piles set up. I love using large Ikea bags to sort. Toss, donate, sell and keep or store for a younger child are common groupings.

3. Closet dividers are a great way to separate sizes. I love these from The Container Store.

4. Use drawer dividers. Kids’ clothes are tiny and if you simply fold and put them in drawers, you are going to lose items and overwhelm the space.

5. Likewise, I suggest shelf dividers.

6. Installing a second closet rod is a great way to give yourself more space. When your child gets bigger you can use it for storing shirts or you can remove it all together.

7. If you are going to move the items out of the bedroom or closet, I suggest storing them in small plastic shoe boxes. This way, you can easily see what is inside and create groupings of like items. I suggest rolling the clothes or folding and then storing vertically.

8. One of the most important things to remember about kids’ clothing is that you will have more than you need. Donate what you don’t love or your child isn’t comfortable in.

9. If you are keeping clothes because they are sentimental, store those in a different spot than the clothes that are going to be worn again. Consider taking photos of them and then donating or making a quilt out of them. You can even use them as the matte in a framed picture.

10. Get kids involved with folding by giving them an easy to use flip folder. This also makes all of your piles uniform.

You can visit Bonnie’s blog at http://thejoyfulorganizer.com/blog/ for more tips and helpful ideas and advice to organize your home and office. I especially love the recent post on coffee and tea organization!

Bonnie Joy Dewkett, CPO® is a nationally recognized organizing expert, author, motivational speaker, and internet radio personality. She began organizing as a child, and she has been organizing ever since. Her company, The Joyful Organizer®, creates and implements organizational systems for the home and office. These changes allow her Customers to create calm from chaos at work and at home. Bonnie is passionate about helping her clients meet their organizational goals, and loves to see the positive impact that getting organized has on their lives. Bonnie offers coaching and organizing to clients around the country. Email bonnie@Thejoyfulorganizer.com for a free consultation.

“Ready to Let Go of the Steering Wheel”

I’m ready, ready for the laughing gas
I’m ready, I’m ready for what’s next
I’m ready to duck, I’m ready to dive
I’m ready to say ‘I’m glad to be alive’
I’m ready for the push
In the cool of the night
In the warmth of the breeze
I’ll be crawling around
On my hands and knees

Zoo Station
Zoo Station

I’m ready, ready for the gridlock
I’m ready for what’s next
I’m ready for the shuffle, ready for the deal
Ready to let go of the steering wheel
I’m ready for the crush…

Achtung Baby U2 Album Cover

Driving down the freeway on an errand with my 11-year old son Techno, iPod blaring Zoo Station*, I was sharing with him the finer points of one of my favorite bands of all-time, U2 .

As with most music lovers you can hear a song and immediately place yourself in that moment when you first heard it or when you enjoyed it most. In my case, 18 years old, just heading off to a big college, experiencing freedom that I had never had before and loving every second. Listening to this album (yes we used to call them albums not CD’s!) in a bar or a dorm room having no knowledge that it would strike me on the freeway more than twenty years later, just one lyric, and bring tears to my eyes and a flutter in my heart. Beside my son no less. Okay, get a grip, girl and take it down a notch!

For months Ice and I have been going through the arduous process to become licensed to foster and ultimately adopt a child. To us a boy whose name we don’t know with a face we can’t place. A boy who is looking for a forever family that just might be smack in the middle of ours.

In and of itself this concept is almost unbelievable to me. Wait, not almost, it IS. For those that know me and just watched me go through a spectrum of craziness even I did not know I was capable of it would appear kind of unbelievable to them as well I could imagine.

It started with 11-11-11, or as I like to call it “Freaky Friday”, the date I found out at age just-shy-of-39 that I was pregnant with my third baby, Little Bee. A wonderful, magical blessing for SURE. Age difference between her two older siblings: eight and ten years. Idea that this was the plan for me at this stage in my life: NOT.A.CLUE.

Me and my Shadow

Little Bee is now 19-months old. Without a doubt she is one of the single BEST adventures that life has taken me on. Okay, so maybe God does know what he is doing. If I wasn’t sure before, mine eyes have been opened and the light is blinding!

Ice and I had contemplated fostering a child before. He had successfully mentored two brothers through Big Brothers/Big Sisters for well over a decade. He worked in a building where an agency that places children into foster homes had office space. Being in commercial construction his company did work for this agency when they needed construction services. But for me I do not think it was anything more than something really amazing to imagine. I didn’t really think we would actually DO it.

Little Bee came along and it kind of sealed the deal for me. Fostering a child would most definitely not happen now. My world was turned upside down (in the most amazing way) with the arrival of this gorgeous little person. It just didn’t feel right then.

Time marched on. Routines were established (or at least feeding and bathing her, not necessarily me!) And life resumed its ebb and flow. The idea hung low in my brain, like a fog. Lingering. Or like a whisper in my ear.

Then one day I was standing in line waiting to enter a dance performance for my nine-year-old daughter, Twinkle Toes and another whisper demanded to be heard.

The people standing in front of me had a four-month-old baby in their arms. His name was Jake. Through a brief conversation I found out that he would be leaving them soon – to be adopted. Realization washed over me. They were foster parents. This was their ONE HUNDRED and TWELFTH BABY. Speechless.

I immediately texted Ice and shared that the whisper was getting louder. We needed to talk.

That was nine months ago, odd. Nine months. We are now almost finished with the four-month process to be certified to receive placement of a child. We are looking for a boy between the ages of three and seven years.

It’s taken me awhile to collect and sort out my thoughts to write about this newest adventure. It is stressful and anxiety-ridden in its own way. There have been moments where I really have questioned if I can handle this. And I am positive there will be more moments. Not a reason not to do it. Especially after feeling somehow led to do it. But still. Life is sure to change again in a big way and in ways I can’t even imagine as of yet. But what I learned from my experience with Little Bee that I could have ONLY learned after she blessed our lives…

Alright, alright, alright, alright, alright
It’s alright… it’s alright… it’s alright… It’s alright

Hey baby… hey baby… hey baby… hey baby…
It’s alright, it’s alright*

This is what I am choosing to remind myself day after day. And even when I forget to let go of the wheel, there are amazing people around me that remind me as well.

View out my kitchen window last week

Stay tuned…there will most surely be more to come!

*Excerpt of Lyrics from Zoo Station by U2,1991

Could She Be Any Sweeter?

In our kitchen we have a message board to celebrate guests, holidays, seasons, accomplishments and the like. Whatever message just needs to be conveyed that day.

So when I finally got around to erasing the “Happy New Year” greeting from December 31st and asked Twinkle Toes to come up with a new message, this is what she wrote:

In case the orange word is unreadable it says “table.”

Love.

Six Ways a Stay-At-Home-Mom Stays Sane During the Polar Vortex

Okay, who even knew that the word “Polar Vortex” existed three months ago? Google this: there is a Wikipedia page devoted to the “2014 North American Cold Wave.” Makes me want to crawl into a vat of hot chocolate and warm up.

Source: Businessweek.com

I remember when snow days actually meant a day off from school because there was just A LOT OF SNOW. Not temps that would freeze my eyebrows on contact. Kids could head outside and get some of the zoobers out. (Technical term, I know). You know sled, make snow forts, hit each other in the eye with snowballs.

After looking back on the five-day break my kids just had off from school here in the Midwest there were a few key things that helped me get through the frigidly cold and claustrophobic days.

1. Exercising – In a moment of sheer madness I accepted an invitation online for the “Plank Challenge.” A way to torture my midsection that seemed like an interesting idea on January 2nd. But it proved to be a great idea to build up a little sweat and some endurance during this time. Each day brought an increase in the time to hold the plank, eventually working up to five minutes. Yeah, I don’t know if I’ll get there. But it was fun to involve Techno and Twinkle and watch them do the same. It also inspired me to add a few other fun exercises we can do together as well. Jumping jacks and squats were never so much fun.

Source: Health.com

2. Reading – Travel magazines…and LOTS of them! If I couldn’t be in Turks and Caicos I sure enjoyed looking at the photos and enjoyed someone else’s good fortune to be there!

3. Sleepovers with some of the kids’ friends – It was great to break that brother/sister sibling tension with a little buffer. Having some other kids around broke up the monotony for them and me.

4.Car trips to break up the day– Gotta make a trip to the bank? Whoo hoo! What else can we do? Drive through for coffee? Stop at Target and scan aisles for things we don’t need like sparkly paperclips and Hello Kitty lip gloss? Perfect. And I think I can stop for gas and hit the Redbox to pickup a DVD for the evening.

5. Daily Boggle matches – Matching wits with my kids is humbling. Two rounds with my nine-year old and she had found two six letter words and beat me!

6. Counting our blessings that we don’t live in Atlanta, Georgia – It was surreal watching news of 18-hour highway backups and traffic jams, a baby being born in the car amid the snowstorm and children sleeping overnight on school buses and in their schools. In the Midwest we are more than equipped to handle winter!

The kids dreaded going back to school this week after being so out of the daily routine. And truth be told their Mom missed them a little bit.

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“Don’t Drink Your Fart Water”

In an alternate universe I would never hear this sentence. In this universe it barely raises an eyebrow. Ice was on the phone with a friend and her son was making bubbles in the tub… shall we say? And then to make sure he hit that level of grossness most boys aspire to, he was attempting to drink the water. If you’re a Mom, this is a perfectly normal quote, right? If your friend on the other end of the line is a Dad, he totally gets it. Thus you share.

The absurdity of what is heard and deciphered by parents from their children is priceless.

When I was growing up my parents had what we all refer to as “The Book”. A red, cloth-covered journal that houses years’ worth of utterly zany quotes, quips and outbursts from me and my quick-witted siblings.

Even as adults we have sat at my Mom’s on more than one occasion and begged to read “The Book”. So when I had my son (now 11), my Dad thought it a fitting gift while still in the hospital to present me with a brown Italian leather-bound journal of my own to start our own capital B-Book.

The following are a few excerpts to brighten your day. If you’re in the mood to chuckle, read on. If not, come back later.

Twinkle Toes age 2 and a half: “Daddy where are you going?”

Ice: “I’m going to work so I can buy you things. Like when you get older you’ll need car insurance. What else do I have to buy you?

Twinkle: “Diamonds.”

Techno age 5: “Mom, is it still today?”

Ice talking to Techno age 5: “I’m going on a date with a hot girl.”

Techno: “Where is Mom going?”

Ice yelled at Twinkle for pulling on our ridiculously expensive window treatments: “Even when I yell at you I still love you.”

Twinkle: I know, but I cry when you love me!”

Ice to both kids explaining about the body: “A smart way to tell Mom you have to pee is to say urinate. Can you say urinate?”

Techno:”Urinate”.

Twinkle age 4: “I’m Nate.”

Etsy.com

There. Now you have your bathroom humor covered for 2014. You can thank me later.

I’ve Got a Feeling

Years ago on a beautiful sunny last-days-of-summer-morning Techno was riding his bike with training wheels and Twinkle Toes was in a stroller, just a little babe. Standing by the roadside with a cell phone to my ear, cars rushing by on a very busy downtown street I was panicking while canceling credit cards and checking my bank balance. Ice was on his way to assist in whatever way he could. I was devastated and embarrassed. I had ignored my own intuition and suffered the consequences.

Just an hour earlier I had unloaded my car with the intention of enjoying a stroll with my kiddos by the lakefront. While locking up the car and stupidly putting my purse in the trunk I noticed a couple strolling by. To put it mildly, they looked like they might have seen harder times than I. Briefly looking in their direction and giving pause for just a millisecond I went about my business unloading the kids, the baby gear, the diaper bag – the usual.

The kids and I had our walk, where I nearly lost my brave little boy testing the waters and going waaaay too far ahead on his training wheels. We arrived at the end of the paved path and set out to cross the grass and head over to the car. From afar I could see the passenger-side window appeared to be smashed in with glass spilling everywhere.

Panic set in. Heart beat raced. Quickened pace. Did this really just happen to me? And with my little children in tow?

I approached the car and realized all too late I should have heeded my earlier gut feeling. My radar went up just a little bit after seeing that couple. It can’t be explained. Something just didn’t feel right. Hindsight 20/20 and all that… I should have just left for another parking spot in a different location. Or just left. Period.

A good Samaritan on a bike stopped to help and confirmed my suspicions that I had in fact seen the couple who stole my purse and forcibly damaged my car. They had been casing the cars with a wad of keys in their hand he shared. He had noticed them while on his bike ride and put two and two together as to what had happened to us. He said he wished he would have done more.

In the aftermath of that HUGE inconvenience, the sentimental loss (irreplaceable family photos in my wallet), the privacy violation – and seriously, a brand new purse! – I promised myself that I would make a real effort to listen to those whispers in my ear and that feeling in my gut in the future.

Times when one of the kids will be sick and I’m thinking “Another doctor bill?” there seems to be that pull towards when it’s just time to bite the bullet and get it checked out. Pneumonia, strep and a mono diagnoses later have proven again and again that sometimes Mama knows best.

Women do have a knack for being intuitive. Amid all the noise, peer pressure, distractions, stress and sheer exhaustion there is a hidden talent I am convinced we possess. It’s knowing when to listen that takes the finesse.

Here’s to the woman who knows when it’s time to move on from a relationship she has outgrown or goes back to school to better her professional options. Or the woman who takes a step to protect her child when others might think it too bold or crazy. Or the woman who takes the leap of faith towards a dream she has been fearful to advance. Or the woman who finally makes the appointment for that mammogram or colonoscopy despite her reservations.

Day in and day out intuition makes the world go ’round – believe it.