Author: Titanimom by Jennifer Scheidt

Titanimom by Jennifer Scheidthttp://www.titanimom.com/40-something work from home Mom with a husband and 3 kids living on the edge of stress, bless and a little town I like to call Wineville. I am trying to lift my eyes daily to the amazing and inspired happening within and all around. Celebrating the strength, humor, chaos and love it takes to be a woman and a Mom. Gonna roll with the ups and downs and look for the humor along the way. There will be some, right?? Did I mention I obsessively collect recipes I never make, paper clutter I never make time to organize and dream of ocean air, sand in my toes and the book I'm gonna write? There, now we are acquainted.

The 13th Boy at the Party – Our First Foster Placement

Friday May 30th

Twelve very rambunctious and excitable 12-year old boys run around my backyard with Nerf guns, footballs and frisbees. Water fights are breaking out at both hoses on either side of the house in celebration of Techno’s upcoming birthday. My A-1 babysitter, Twinkle Toes, left for a sleepover at one of her besties’ house. And my little wrecking ball on the verge of age two is wreaking havoc wherever she goes.

The phone rings around six o’clock. And by 8:15 we have our 13th party guest. An eight-month old little dreamboat who needs a place to stay for the weekend is being handed to us in the driveway with my son’s friends looking on in amazement and wonder.

Just the day before I had lamented to friends.

Why haven’t they called us yet?

We were licensed to be foster parents the second week in May. And I knew the demand was high.

Ask and you shall receive.

We knew it was probably temporary. We probably couldn’t keep him for long.

After the festivities were over and the last child was picked up from the party, I found myself on the way to the store to buy formula, diapers and baby food at 10 o’clock at night.

We had him for one week. He crawled in our hearts and under our skin right away. The smell of my entire house changed instantly. His baby smell was in almost every room. In that one week I was amazed at how much we learned about him – his quirks and delights. His learning and our growing.

Friday June 6th

The case worker came to take him to his more long-term foster home. He was so kind to do everything slowly. He knew it was hard.

We sent him with clothes he wore of my son’s that I had saved. I especially loved how he looked in the Cookie Monster overalls.

I wanted to buckle him into his car seat myself and make sure I was able to see his beautiful dark brown eyes and say goodbye. Strange as it may sound, I didn’t want any remnants of his clothes or food or baby supplies here. Just thinking about it made me know it would be even harder for me later.

But the bear my son wanted to give him was left behind. I had made sure to place it among his things that morning. I knew Techno really wanted him to have it. But they played with it that morning and it never made it back into the pile. So I called the case worker to ask how I could get it to him. He assured me he could get it that day and make sure it traveled with him to his new home.

I found something else before he came to retrieve the bear. But I never gave it back. That little guy outgrew it long before he got here. It smelled like him. And Techno has a nose like a wolf. I knew he would love it.

Just last week he came and asked me to smell it.

Heaven. Truly.

7 Steps to DIY Landscaping (A Guide for the “Black, not Green Thumb”)

If you’re from parts of the country that learned what a Polar Vortex was this past winter then your landscaping might have taken a beating this year.

For the last 5+ years I have had the desire to re-do our original landscaping. So when my husband and I discussed greenlighting the project this year it got me pumped to channel my inner gardener. (Did I even have such a thing?)

The concept of curb appeal has always been important to me. And let’s just say some failed attempts with my black thumb have left some of the best-laid plans we had for our landscaping in the dirt.

Help!

Why on earth am I geeked about landscaping you ask? And how does it even remotely fit in with the content I usually post on this blog? Because it’s a project almost completed that taught me a thing or two about doing my homework before I jumped in (like the last time we landscaped), pushing through the desire to throw my hands up and say “forget it” when I was intimidated or throwing money at it that we could easily spend on many other important things this year.

I am no expert nor do I claim to be. But the following steps may provide a jumping off point for anyone else who may be as skeptical of their skills as I was at first. You might even find a way to save some money, utilize existing plants you already have and even experience some amazing stress-reducing benefits.

1. Do some homework: Drive around your favorite neighborhoods and take notice of what you like. Do you like the look of annuals and lots of flowers? Do you favor low-maintenance shrubs and bushes? Do you value symmetry and a more organized design or do you like a more natural look? Taking in to account some of these factors gives you a good place to start.

2. Locate your Gardening Zone: The plant hardiness zone map is a standard used by most growers and gardeners to indicate which plants will thrive best in different regions of the country. Click here to find out your zone: USDA Plant Hardiness Zone.

Also researching online can provide some great inspiration and useful information about the types of plants that may work in your yard. One of the sites I especially liked was Bloom IQ.com. This site offers care tips, gorgeous photos for design inspiration and my favorite tool under the heading Plant Information. Here you can select the plant type, zone type, lighting, bloom time and bloom color and it will search the database and provide you with the results that fit this specific profile.

Source: http://www.bloomiq.com

3. Divide and Conquer: Start with a Google Earth map of your house. Google Earth uses satellite imagery and aerial photography to map the earth. I loved this idea to assist in mapping out a plan. My husband suggested this and it proved to be very useful in helping make this overwhelming task for me into a more manageable project.

After downloading the program I found our house, zoomed in and printed a snapshot. We divided the landscaping into different areas of focus. Based on the Zone we live in and the lighting each landscaped area gets at different times of the day it helped me focus on what types of plants may work based on my preferences. It also highlighted what had been hastily planted the last time we landscaped just because I liked it but didn’t really take into account what type of sunlight would be required or whether certain fertilizer was needed etc. Click here to visit Google Earth and access a free download.

4.Visit some local greenhouses, garden stores and growers: Hopefully there are some real experts on-hand that would be happy to share their vast knowledge with you. I visited a couple of local places and talked to the person referred to me as their in-house expert. I showed them my Google Earth plan and gave them an idea of some of the plants I liked. With input on what would grow well in our Zone as well as the lighting requirements of each plant, a plan started to materialize. It was further refined by getting input from another well-respected grower and adding some of those suggestions to the plan.

5. With plan in hand GO SHOPPING! (My favorite part!) Have a budget in mind before you go and try to stick to it. Be prepared that once you get to your destination all the colors, smells and sights can easily get you off track. Most everything is looking its best and it can be hard to say no to every gorgeous hanging basket or tropical plant that may require a lot of attention. If you have a plan and know specifically what you are looking for it will be much easier to stick to it and your budget.

While we’re on the topic of budgets, before I went shopping, we looked around the yard to see what plants were thriving but just needed to be relocated to another area to make room for something else. We also took into account what plants could be split and planted elsewhere in the yard to fill in spots that needed it. This saved a lot on expenses too.

6. Do a Mock-Up before you Start: Once you return home with your new plants, invest the time in a mock-up before you start planting. Placement is key! Some plants may grow five feet wide and eight feet tall. If you don’t take note of that on the information card that comes with the plant you may end up losing a plant you love if it can’t later be transplanted. This happened to us. Years ago we had placed two beautiful purple leaf sand cherry shrubs near our children’s bedroom windows. When they got about 8 feet tall it was kind of overbearing. We wanted to move them but by this time it was too late. So we lost one in the process and decided to leave the other one as it was but prune it down considerably.

7. Enjoy the benefits! Did you know that plants improve air quality, reduce soil erosion and reduce noise pollution? According to Green Leaf Nursery, one of America’s largest nursery growers, landscaping can add as much as 15-20 percent to the value of a home or building. By spending as little as five percent on landscaping, the value of a home can jump as much as 15 percent! And research shows that children who interact with plants and nature are less apt to be hyperactive, more creative and focused and cooperative at play.

Studies also show when adults interact with plants and nature they have less stress and depression in their lives as well. I am finding this out now. Ten years ago I was not really interested in taking these necessary steps and doing the work. But I am so glad I made the investment to see this project through. I am thoroughly enjoying watering my new plants and just zoning out and relaxing each day for twenty minutes or so. I know I will reap the benefits for years to come and our home is better for it as well.

Lastly, I kept all of the information cards on each plant and made notes about what kind of care it will require each season. These notes are now housed with all my gardening supplies. If it took us almost a decade to re-do the original landscaping, I want to be sure what we do now flourishes and works well for years to come.

Keep in mind many of these plants need to mature!

Happy Landscaping!

© Jennifer Scheidt and Titanimom, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jennifer Scheidt and Titanimom with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

We are licensed!

5.14.14: We are licensed!

Hunting? Fishing? Driving? Nope. A dual license for Ice and I to be foster parents with the intent to adopt.

This brand new bunk bed is now ready for a boy who needs a forever family. Now we wait for the call…

On Wednesday there were three voice mails I didn’t know we had even received until Thursday. Sandwiched in between an insurance and a telemarketer call was a message from our social worker letting us know our license had been issued.

Thank God for voicemail!

Double Post Day! Guest Post: Come Visit Me!

I am over at Bonnie Dewkett’s blog at The Joyful Organizer today sharing information about women and their finances. After attending a fabulous (and eye-opening!) event with a financial planner it really got me thinking about the lack of confidence a lot of women feel in this area of their lives.

We all know family and friends that have found themselves on the other side of divorce or an unexpected loss and then it is very stressful to try and figure out next steps.

This piece is meant to start the conversation, get all of us thinking a little bit more about steps to take to ensure there aren’t stressful surprises later and offer a few tips on some helpful tools.

Visit The Joyful Organizer to learn more!

Sequins, the Beatles and Mother’s Day

For some, as seasons change it is a reminder of the quick passage of time. It might be a glimpse of the first robin of Spring or the moment you slip on those flip-flops after a brutal winter just itching to show off your new pedi.

One of my markers of the passage of time involves sequins, fake hair, oodles of bobby pins and gaudy makeup. No, I am not a stay-at-home Mom by day and a street-walker by night…It’s recital season. Ugh and Yay! all at the same time.

Twinkle Toes (what creative genius came up with that pseudonym?) has been dancing since she was three. She’s ready to hit double-digits in a couple weeks…so, a long time.

There is always a little dread when coordinating the weekend. Rehearsal on Thursday night. Be there at 6 o’clock sharp. Somewhere north of 50 people milling around all looking at their watches looking forward to being done with this necessary evil. Wishing for some couch time with an episode of Modern Family, just one more errand completed or a last-minute dinner that didn’t include nuggets or noodles.

Looking ahead to the weekend it’s always “cram stuff in, hurry home to get ready and fly out the door”. Make sure there is enough time to fight with Twinkle and her “bun”, apply just enough toxic hairspray to hold up a bridge and be sure to pick up all lost bobby pins lest they end up in Little Bee’s stomach . Apply said gaudy makeup and stand back and admire the horror of my sweet almost-ten-year-old looking just-enough garish so the back row can see her red-lipped smile.

But THIS year I was so looking forward to leaving Bee with my husband, parking my tush in that seat, taking a breath, relaxing and watching my daughter and all the young girls at the studio (and one very brave boy!) dance their hearts out and showcase their sizable talent.

After all was said and done it was hands down the best performance I have ever seen them produce. Literally blown away. And it turned out to be an early Mother’s Day gift.

Sappy princess song after saccharin-sweet love song played on. But most of these performers were not the little ones looking backstage for every movement cue. These girls/young women were pouring their hearts into some beautiful artistry. And quite honestly some very grown-up expression. So You Think You Can Dance had a few contenders here with this bunch, no joke.

As I sat there (in between my mother and Bee’s Godmother) a myriad of things was going through my mind:

Was it not just yesterday that Twinkle was dancing on her Dad’s toes in a costume made for a pre-schooler? And here she was graceful and confident with a plié here and a relevé there.

Many of the older girls on stage are just on the cusp of what life will offer them. Will all the years spent honing their craft make an impact in their adult lives somehow?

As the strains of the Beatles’ Yesterday and Train’s When I look to the Sky played on (I’ll admit these two always kinda get me) I thought back to the last five years. When did the engagement parties and baby showers I attended segue over to funerals and battles with disease? Passage of time.

Time is marching on and it is going so very fast. There have been great losses and uphill battles in the lives of many of my family and friends. People have come together. Communities have come together.

As Mother’ Day approaches a beautiful little ballet recital made me pause and think of the very best that the women in my life have to offer one another.

Countless meals, hugs and smiles. A phone call here. Several fundraisers there. A letter sharing empathy because someone else experienced it too. The space to grieve. An angel pin. The t-shirt worn to support an effort. The poem read even when the tears were still blinding. A locket to house the most precious of photos. The book dropped on a doorstep because it had to be shared. The party thrown to offer support and say goodbye to something that no longer served its purpose. A good cry. A flower. A prayer.

I don’t know what impact these experiences my daughter has had dancing will have on her. But they have surely left an imprint on her Mom.

Happy Mother’s Day.

I Am a Certain Thomas

So people have been asking what’s the latest news on our foster parent adventure. And with things wrapping up very soon I was bolstered to read this post from an amazing Mom and blogger I follow over at “Raising 5 Kids With Disabilities and Remaining Sane” blog.
I think (I hope!) our last visit with our social worker and a placement specialist is next week. We are waiting until things slow down with Ice and his travel schedule. So it looks like after June 1st will be our “go live” date! Then we wait for a placement.
I am re-blogging this post because it reminded me despite all the nerves and questions I have about how this whole journey may play out, there is a reason we were brought to this place and I can relate to it.
Read on…

Raising 5 Kids With Disabilities and Remaining Sane Blog

My life has been blessed with the certainty of God’s existence. My brother was born multiply disabled with Rubella syndrome, (a warning to those who do not believe in immunizations.) He was almost deaf, blind, severely developmentally disabled and had a cleft palate, along with several other physical anomalies. My mom spent the first few months of his life sobbing on her bed. It was a confusing time for me as a child…my mom was not available to me, this new creature in my house mewed like a kitten for hours on end, and my dad did everything he could to not be home. Then, one sunny, warm day, my mom sat in the sun parlor on a rocking chair, rocking Curtis as he cried his kitten cry. Then a miracle happened…she was visited by the Holy Spirit. He/she came right on in, with a brightness that far surpassed the…

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4th Grade Field Trip…a Microcosm of Life?

A tad bit of culture shock as I plunked down smack in the middle of a bus full of over sixty fourth-graders laughing, shouting, giggling and excitable as merrily we rolled along the freeway last week. My first field trip since Little Bee’s arrival. I had kind of written them off since she came along and missed the interaction with my two older kids at school, albeit loud and overwhelming.

We visited the art museum on an uncharacteristically beautiful (and windy!) Spring morning around these parts. After all was said and done I couldn’t help but notice what a microcosm of life our little adventure was.

There was the drama of the boys pulling the girls’ hair. Kicking the seats and ducking down when the evil eye of a parent spotted their antics.

“Who me?” their expressions said.

When we got situated and the docent had been assigned to our lot, the groups started to form. Boys separated from girls. Much like many a party I have been at with friends where the men and women cordon off into ESPN vs. kid talk. Work vs. home life. Harmless flirting and jokes.

I was the chaperone for nine kids along with our docent. She was doing an amazing job at holding the interest of the group. Then out of the blue Twinkle Toes informed me she was feeling sick to her stomach.

“This is not the plan. What happens if I have to leave nine rambunctious kids with a highly cultured and very LOW-KEY tour guide??” I thought.

So we veered “off the trail” to attend to the unexpected detour.

Thankfully she was feeling better pretty quickly, we were back on schedule and I was back running interference. Much like many a situation in life where there is worry and unease only to find out it all comes out in the wash and for the best.

Going into it, I am sure the kids were looking forward to a good time, freedom from the classroom and to test the limits to see what they could get away with. Yet there was so much interesting information thrown at us by our guide and so much to see and experience that there wasn’t much time for getting into trouble.

It occurred to me that without a worthy purpose or interest don’t many adults find themselves in all kinds of trouble? Be it financial, moral or vocational?

And this proved to be true in the forty-five minutes that ensued where we were on a self-guided tour.

“Really? Who thought this was a good idea to put me in charge of nine kids at the museum?” I thought at first.

I can barely make it through some days with my three kids let alone someone else’s nine!

I was amazed at the thirst for knowledge that these children had in this setting. Since I had learned so much and listened along the tour, we circled back to some of those themes and had some great conversations.

At one point our group needed a note taker to fulfill an activity our teacher had assigned to us. Two students were vying for the spot. I was inclined to let the first one who raised her hand be the appointed helper. The other student was a little bummed and made it known. At which point the first student tried to stick up for herself. Then she kind of wilted and relented, clearly not wanting to make waves. However, I could see she was really disappointed and had wanted the job.

In the end, I let the first girl take the lead. She had asked first, tried to stick up for herself and had been very generous in offering to let the duty go to someone else. I appreciated that. And in adult life, taking the high road hopefully more often than not brings good things back to you.

The children had so many great comments and questions and were really excited about the material they were learning. Despite feeling like I was dropped in the lion’s den and might struggle to fill that forty-five minute block, I was very proud of how they represented our school and the time just FLEW!

In fact, we were one of the last groups to board the bus. A couple of kids were asking what time it was and concerned we were going to miss it. How responsible were they?

A reminder that under estimating someone can come back to surprise you.

And then we got back on the bus again. Cue the noise. The hair pulling. The seat kicking. Yeah, that’s more like it.

© Jennifer Scheidt and Titanimom, 2013-2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jennifer Scheidt and Titanimom with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Liebster Award…I Guess you Like Me!?

Thank you Nadege Nicoll from (so creatively named!) www.nadegenicoll.com for nominating me for a Liebster Award! So from what I can gather a Liebster Award is a “newbie” blogger’s “Welcome to the Club” chain letter. Like the email you get for sharing recipes with others or the request to pass along your favorite inspirational quote. If you are excited about the topic, it is just peachy-keen to be tapped on the shoulder to participate and give your two-cents. If you are not, it is possibly an audible *sigh* or a minor inconvenience.

Well, you won’t hear a *sigh* here! There is no real award or plaque to hang on the wall and there is no official voting committee or recognition ceremony held. No monetary gain or advancement in my blogging career is forthcoming. But on a small scale it means someone thought of me (heck, they could actually FIND me!) and offered up my website to help other bloggers find me too! Maybe even (gasp!) follow me or engage in a post and leave a comment to join the conversation (what we bloggers all strive for, no crickets out there…)

So here’s the deal.

If you’re nominated for the award you must:

Make a post about the award, thanking the blogger that nominated you.
State 11 interesting facts about yourself
Answer the 11 questions asked by the blogger that nominated you
Nominate 11 new bloggers with 500 or less followers
Write 11 new questions for your nominees

So here is my story…

11 facts about myself

1. I love to dance and sing and used to fantasize about being an actress when I was younger. See About. My first official role was “Louisa” in the Sound of Music.

2. I have been in four car accidents. In three of the four car accidents the cars have been totaled. (I swear only one was my fault when I was 16!)

3. I completed a marathon with my aunt in 2009 and every year in October I do the same half marathon with her.

4. I love my engagement story and wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. My husband proposed to me on a bench overlooking the Golden Gate Bridge after we saw Phantom of the Opera – always a favorite.

5. I am obsessed with my nails. When they are trimmed, filed, polished and looking pretty (which is almost never!) I look at my hands more than is normal I think.

6. I went to nine different schools growing up. My father traveled a lot because of his pilot’s job (helicopters and airplanes). Always being the new kid, I really felt sorry for myself when I was younger. But now I do not envy someone who has lived in one place their entire life. I think moving made me a little more resilient and interesting. In fact, the house I live in that my husband and I built is the longest I have lived anywhere. Truth be told, I am starting to get the itch to move.

7. Somehow I never took typing class in high school. I perfected my own hunt and peck method writing papers in college. But so much of my time is spent at a computer that I wish I knew how to do it right and much faster.

8. I cannot stand to lose things. Car keys, CD’s, books, my baby’s puzzle pieces or alphabet letters. You name it, I go ape s#*t if I can’t find it.

9. I adore red wine.

10. My favorite time of day is the mid-morning. It is the time when I am most hopeful and I look forward to the possibilities that the day could bring.

11. I have learned so much about myself, my faith and what is important since I became the mother to my third child at age 39-1/2 that my life will forever be viewed as “Before” and “After”.

And the Nominees are…(I hope you won’t boo-hiss me if you’ve already been nominated! I don’t expect you to do this again if you don’t feel the desire. And if you have more than 500 followers, please don’t be offended. I would love to know more about the woman behind the blog!)

http://adventuresofsweetmonday.blogspot.com/

http://aperfectextrachromosome.blogspot.ca/

http://driftwood-gardens.com/

http://www.kraftsandkiddos.com/

http://livingmommywood.blogspot.com/

http://mommaroars.com/

http://mytwolittleladies.wordpress.com/

http://www.readbakerunrepeat.com/

http://startingoverasms.wordpress.com/

http://www.tantrumstotattoos.com/

11 questions from Celeste…

1. If you were an animal, what would it be and why? A dolphin. They are beautiful creatures and seem to have a perma-grin. I dig that. Also I am a Pisces who loves the ocean but is more than moderately afraid of drowning. So to actually live in the sea would be particularly satisfying.

2. What do you find is the hardest at being a parent? Trying to keep my frustration under wraps when things don’t go the way I want them to. AKA not losing it twenty times a day!

3. When is the last time you laughed so much your belly ached? On the way home from a night out with great friends recently. I don’t know what we were laughing about exactly but I just remember it felt good and I just couldn’t stop.

4. If you were given to choose a super power, what would you wish for? The ability to cure diseases. Two people very dear to me live with one and several good friends are being very negatively impacted by disease right now.

5. What’s your happy place? 82 degrees, sunny, near the ocean with books, drinks, loved ones and music nearby.

6. What is your most embarrassing moment? I can’t think of any real doozies right now but a few weeks ago I went to Target with my yoga pants on inside out. I hope that qualifies.

7. You can marry a famous person tomorrow: who will you choose? No way. I can’t imagine being married to anyone else.

8. What is your favorite quote? Be true to your word, your work and your friend. ~Henry David Thoreau

9. What is the last thing that made you really, really angry? I can’t think of any one thing off the top of my head. But the culmination of little things throughout the day that exhaust me and make my fuse short is the biggest challenge. Last week my 21-month old pooped on the carpet (don’t ask), spilled my entire coffee cup in the middle of the living room carpet (so thankful it was only lukewarm by that time) and hurled her entire bowl of peas over the side of the high chair at dinner. You know, that kind of exhausting and fuse-blowing stuff.

10. If you win 10 million dollars tomorrow, what would you do with it? Give to charity, charity, charity, shower my husband’s Father and my parents with whatever they would need or want, travel to Europe, invest and trick out my house to the nines!

11. What is your biggest fear? The death of one of my children or my husband (drowning and centipedes rank up there too.)

11 Questions I want to ask the nominees…

1. What is your favorite childhood memory?

2. What movie or book can you most identify with?

3. What is one of the best lessons you have learned?

4. Where was your most favorite vacation?

5. Why do you like to write?

6. If you could have three items on a deserted island what would they be?

7. What is a quirk you have that makes you YOU?

8. What is one of your best moments?

9. If you could re-do a moment over again in your life, what would it be?

10. What is your favorite quote?

11. What is something that puts you in a good mood?

7 Steps to a Resolution with our Daughter’s Bully

Source: FreeDigitalPhotos.net by Sippakorn

A visit to the gym to workout today proved to be full of some pretty big lessons for my nine-year-old daughter (and me). While on the treadmill next to my husband (Ice) I looked over to see my daughter in tears and very distraught. She approached him very upset and looking for his help. He left with her. I assumed she was fighting with her brother on the basketball court and continued running. After a couple of minutes I decided to shut off my machine and go see what was up.

Turns out my son was not the culprit today, it was another boy she was guarding (or trying to) in what was supposed to be a friendly game of basketball among children.

According to her account, the boy was aggressive and rude the entire game towards her, he slapped her at one point, pushed her down and told her “You’re a girl, you can’t guard me!”

Source: FreeDigitalPhotos.net by Prawny

Step One: Find the Boy.

We set off to find this young man. Calmly and purposefully. When he saw Ice he started to bolt in the other direction with his little sister. Ice asked him to stop and follow him to the front of the gym.

Step Two: Ask for assistance from the staff.

Ice asked for the help of the man behind the front desk in resolving the issue.

Step Three: Give our daughter a chance to tell her side of the story and look this child in the eye.

We let her speak and then asked the other child if what she re-told was what he thought happened. Was it easy for her? Not at all. But it was so important for her to stand up for herself with our support and encouragement. She had been really shaken up until this point and rather than be the victim I felt it was so important for her to gain back her composure and some of her control of the situation.

Step Four: Arrive at the truth.

When the boy denied the events happening or his involvement in them my husband told him the best thing to do was to tell the truth otherwise we would be waiting for the staff to find his parents and get them involved. He re-considered his position and agreed that he had been physical with her and abusive with his words. We asked if there was anything else he wanted to say and he apologized.

Step Five: Accept the apology.

Our daughter looked him in the eye and hard as it was I could tell she really meant what she said when she accepted his apology.

Step Six: Try and re-cap the lesson.

Ice told him not to pick on others. “Girls can do anything boys can do”, he said. “And if you were my son, I would want to tell you it’s never a good idea to run from your problems because they only double in size.”

Step Seven: Close the loop with the staff.

Ice approached the front desk to let them know the entire turn of events and provide our name and number for the child’s parents to get in touch with us if they wanted to discuss anything.

So far we have not heard anything. But I do hope that this child really stopped, whether then or later in the day, to let it sink in that what he did was wrong.

There are so many other ways that this turn of events could have been handled. But I feel so much more at peace with how it was handled. Calm, firm, up-front, transparent.

Not every situation can be so cut and dry. Circumstances can be so much more serious, less controlled, lacking any adult supervision in the vicinity and on and on… But when I asked my daughter to recount for me what happened today, she had a better handle on it than I did. I actually consulted her before sitting down to put this to words. She truly was impacted by what happened and walked away stronger for it.

I am so proud of her and my husband.

Not Applying for my AARP Card Just Yet

I hope I have a long way to go until I am hunched over, walking with a cane and talking about “those young whipper snappers.” But I got more than a glimpse of what it means to be an “older generation” this week.

While walking through the mall with Little Bee I had to approach the information desk to get my bearings.

“Is there a Hallmark store in the mall?” I asked the woman behind the desk. (There wasn’t.) But the mall cop who was shooting the bull with her offered me some suggestions. When I looked into his eyes momentarily I was struck right away.

He looked like he had escaped from the middle school lunch table.

Last night, inspired by a new recipe from one of the many recipes I’m guilty of collecting (and never making) the iPod was blasting and me and Little Bee were putting on a groove shoe… minding our own business. I glanced over at Twinkle Toes and her eyes bugged out like Macauley Culkin in Home Alone. (Does anybody remember that movie or is it just me?)

Apparently I had stepped into shaky territory feeling it was safe to dance in my own kitchen. Because I have now become the mom with jazz hands whose kids run in the other direction when Kool and the Gang comes on. Well, not really Kool and the Gang, but you get the idea.

And I know every generation has their lingo.

Cruisin’ for a bruisin’, Groovy! and Don’t have a cow! come to mind.

But now there are text abbreviations, the ever-popular LOL, lmk and btw.

I remember the first time I heard “B.T. dubs.”

Huh?

Took me a senior moment and then I got it. Stands for the phrase “by the way”. It’s abbreviated in texting form to “btw” and now the young ones actually say “B.T.dubs.”

I told Techno, “Uh, yeah, please do yourself a favor and don’t talk like that.”

But then what will he have to look back and laugh about when he’s my age? And isn’t that part of the fun of getting older? Laughing at your younger, stupider self? I can’t bear to deny him THAT joy.