I Am a Certain Thomas

So people have been asking what’s the latest news on our foster parent adventure. And with things wrapping up very soon I was bolstered to read this post from an amazing Mom and blogger I follow over at “Raising 5 Kids With Disabilities and Remaining Sane” blog.
I think (I hope!) our last visit with our social worker and a placement specialist is next week. We are waiting until things slow down with Ice and his travel schedule. So it looks like after June 1st will be our “go live” date! Then we wait for a placement.
I am re-blogging this post because it reminded me despite all the nerves and questions I have about how this whole journey may play out, there is a reason we were brought to this place and I can relate to it.
Read on…

Raising 5 Kids With Disabilities and Remaining Sane Blog

My life has been blessed with the certainty of God’s existence. My brother was born multiply disabled with Rubella syndrome, (a warning to those who do not believe in immunizations.) He was almost deaf, blind, severely developmentally disabled and had a cleft palate, along with several other physical anomalies. My mom spent the first few months of his life sobbing on her bed. It was a confusing time for me as a child…my mom was not available to me, this new creature in my house mewed like a kitten for hours on end, and my dad did everything he could to not be home. Then, one sunny, warm day, my mom sat in the sun parlor on a rocking chair, rocking Curtis as he cried his kitten cry. Then a miracle happened…she was visited by the Holy Spirit. He/she came right on in, with a brightness that far surpassed the…

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4th Grade Field Trip…a Microcosm of Life?

A tad bit of culture shock as I plunked down smack in the middle of a bus full of over sixty fourth-graders laughing, shouting, giggling and excitable as merrily we rolled along the freeway last week. My first field trip since Little Bee’s arrival. I had kind of written them off since she came along and missed the interaction with my two older kids at school, albeit loud and overwhelming.

We visited the art museum on an uncharacteristically beautiful (and windy!) Spring morning around these parts. After all was said and done I couldn’t help but notice what a microcosm of life our little adventure was.

There was the drama of the boys pulling the girls’ hair. Kicking the seats and ducking down when the evil eye of a parent spotted their antics.

“Who me?” their expressions said.

When we got situated and the docent had been assigned to our lot, the groups started to form. Boys separated from girls. Much like many a party I have been at with friends where the men and women cordon off into ESPN vs. kid talk. Work vs. home life. Harmless flirting and jokes.

I was the chaperone for nine kids along with our docent. She was doing an amazing job at holding the interest of the group. Then out of the blue Twinkle Toes informed me she was feeling sick to her stomach.

“This is not the plan. What happens if I have to leave nine rambunctious kids with a highly cultured and very LOW-KEY tour guide??” I thought.

So we veered “off the trail” to attend to the unexpected detour.

Thankfully she was feeling better pretty quickly, we were back on schedule and I was back running interference. Much like many a situation in life where there is worry and unease only to find out it all comes out in the wash and for the best.

Going into it, I am sure the kids were looking forward to a good time, freedom from the classroom and to test the limits to see what they could get away with. Yet there was so much interesting information thrown at us by our guide and so much to see and experience that there wasn’t much time for getting into trouble.

It occurred to me that without a worthy purpose or interest don’t many adults find themselves in all kinds of trouble? Be it financial, moral or vocational?

And this proved to be true in the forty-five minutes that ensued where we were on a self-guided tour.

“Really? Who thought this was a good idea to put me in charge of nine kids at the museum?” I thought at first.

I can barely make it through some days with my three kids let alone someone else’s nine!

I was amazed at the thirst for knowledge that these children had in this setting. Since I had learned so much and listened along the tour, we circled back to some of those themes and had some great conversations.

At one point our group needed a note taker to fulfill an activity our teacher had assigned to us. Two students were vying for the spot. I was inclined to let the first one who raised her hand be the appointed helper. The other student was a little bummed and made it known. At which point the first student tried to stick up for herself. Then she kind of wilted and relented, clearly not wanting to make waves. However, I could see she was really disappointed and had wanted the job.

In the end, I let the first girl take the lead. She had asked first, tried to stick up for herself and had been very generous in offering to let the duty go to someone else. I appreciated that. And in adult life, taking the high road hopefully more often than not brings good things back to you.

The children had so many great comments and questions and were really excited about the material they were learning. Despite feeling like I was dropped in the lion’s den and might struggle to fill that forty-five minute block, I was very proud of how they represented our school and the time just FLEW!

In fact, we were one of the last groups to board the bus. A couple of kids were asking what time it was and concerned we were going to miss it. How responsible were they?

A reminder that under estimating someone can come back to surprise you.

And then we got back on the bus again. Cue the noise. The hair pulling. The seat kicking. Yeah, that’s more like it.

© Jennifer Scheidt and Titanimom, 2013-2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jennifer Scheidt and Titanimom with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Liebster Award…I Guess you Like Me!?

Thank you Nadege Nicoll from (so creatively named!) www.nadegenicoll.com for nominating me for a Liebster Award! So from what I can gather a Liebster Award is a “newbie” blogger’s “Welcome to the Club” chain letter. Like the email you get for sharing recipes with others or the request to pass along your favorite inspirational quote. If you are excited about the topic, it is just peachy-keen to be tapped on the shoulder to participate and give your two-cents. If you are not, it is possibly an audible *sigh* or a minor inconvenience.

Well, you won’t hear a *sigh* here! There is no real award or plaque to hang on the wall and there is no official voting committee or recognition ceremony held. No monetary gain or advancement in my blogging career is forthcoming. But on a small scale it means someone thought of me (heck, they could actually FIND me!) and offered up my website to help other bloggers find me too! Maybe even (gasp!) follow me or engage in a post and leave a comment to join the conversation (what we bloggers all strive for, no crickets out there…)

So here’s the deal.

If you’re nominated for the award you must:

Make a post about the award, thanking the blogger that nominated you.
State 11 interesting facts about yourself
Answer the 11 questions asked by the blogger that nominated you
Nominate 11 new bloggers with 500 or less followers
Write 11 new questions for your nominees

So here is my story…

11 facts about myself

1. I love to dance and sing and used to fantasize about being an actress when I was younger. See About. My first official role was “Louisa” in the Sound of Music.

2. I have been in four car accidents. In three of the four car accidents the cars have been totaled. (I swear only one was my fault when I was 16!)

3. I completed a marathon with my aunt in 2009 and every year in October I do the same half marathon with her.

4. I love my engagement story and wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. My husband proposed to me on a bench overlooking the Golden Gate Bridge after we saw Phantom of the Opera – always a favorite.

5. I am obsessed with my nails. When they are trimmed, filed, polished and looking pretty (which is almost never!) I look at my hands more than is normal I think.

6. I went to nine different schools growing up. My father traveled a lot because of his pilot’s job (helicopters and airplanes). Always being the new kid, I really felt sorry for myself when I was younger. But now I do not envy someone who has lived in one place their entire life. I think moving made me a little more resilient and interesting. In fact, the house I live in that my husband and I built is the longest I have lived anywhere. Truth be told, I am starting to get the itch to move.

7. Somehow I never took typing class in high school. I perfected my own hunt and peck method writing papers in college. But so much of my time is spent at a computer that I wish I knew how to do it right and much faster.

8. I cannot stand to lose things. Car keys, CD’s, books, my baby’s puzzle pieces or alphabet letters. You name it, I go ape s#*t if I can’t find it.

9. I adore red wine.

10. My favorite time of day is the mid-morning. It is the time when I am most hopeful and I look forward to the possibilities that the day could bring.

11. I have learned so much about myself, my faith and what is important since I became the mother to my third child at age 39-1/2 that my life will forever be viewed as “Before” and “After”.

And the Nominees are…(I hope you won’t boo-hiss me if you’ve already been nominated! I don’t expect you to do this again if you don’t feel the desire. And if you have more than 500 followers, please don’t be offended. I would love to know more about the woman behind the blog!)

http://adventuresofsweetmonday.blogspot.com/

http://aperfectextrachromosome.blogspot.ca/

http://driftwood-gardens.com/

http://www.kraftsandkiddos.com/

http://livingmommywood.blogspot.com/

http://mommaroars.com/

http://mytwolittleladies.wordpress.com/

http://www.readbakerunrepeat.com/

http://startingoverasms.wordpress.com/

http://www.tantrumstotattoos.com/

11 questions from Celeste…

1. If you were an animal, what would it be and why? A dolphin. They are beautiful creatures and seem to have a perma-grin. I dig that. Also I am a Pisces who loves the ocean but is more than moderately afraid of drowning. So to actually live in the sea would be particularly satisfying.

2. What do you find is the hardest at being a parent? Trying to keep my frustration under wraps when things don’t go the way I want them to. AKA not losing it twenty times a day!

3. When is the last time you laughed so much your belly ached? On the way home from a night out with great friends recently. I don’t know what we were laughing about exactly but I just remember it felt good and I just couldn’t stop.

4. If you were given to choose a super power, what would you wish for? The ability to cure diseases. Two people very dear to me live with one and several good friends are being very negatively impacted by disease right now.

5. What’s your happy place? 82 degrees, sunny, near the ocean with books, drinks, loved ones and music nearby.

6. What is your most embarrassing moment? I can’t think of any real doozies right now but a few weeks ago I went to Target with my yoga pants on inside out. I hope that qualifies.

7. You can marry a famous person tomorrow: who will you choose? No way. I can’t imagine being married to anyone else.

8. What is your favorite quote? Be true to your word, your work and your friend. ~Henry David Thoreau

9. What is the last thing that made you really, really angry? I can’t think of any one thing off the top of my head. But the culmination of little things throughout the day that exhaust me and make my fuse short is the biggest challenge. Last week my 21-month old pooped on the carpet (don’t ask), spilled my entire coffee cup in the middle of the living room carpet (so thankful it was only lukewarm by that time) and hurled her entire bowl of peas over the side of the high chair at dinner. You know, that kind of exhausting and fuse-blowing stuff.

10. If you win 10 million dollars tomorrow, what would you do with it? Give to charity, charity, charity, shower my husband’s Father and my parents with whatever they would need or want, travel to Europe, invest and trick out my house to the nines!

11. What is your biggest fear? The death of one of my children or my husband (drowning and centipedes rank up there too.)

11 Questions I want to ask the nominees…

1. What is your favorite childhood memory?

2. What movie or book can you most identify with?

3. What is one of the best lessons you have learned?

4. Where was your most favorite vacation?

5. Why do you like to write?

6. If you could have three items on a deserted island what would they be?

7. What is a quirk you have that makes you YOU?

8. What is one of your best moments?

9. If you could re-do a moment over again in your life, what would it be?

10. What is your favorite quote?

11. What is something that puts you in a good mood?

7 Steps to a Resolution with our Daughter’s Bully

Source: FreeDigitalPhotos.net by Sippakorn

A visit to the gym to workout today proved to be full of some pretty big lessons for my nine-year-old daughter (and me). While on the treadmill next to my husband (Ice) I looked over to see my daughter in tears and very distraught. She approached him very upset and looking for his help. He left with her. I assumed she was fighting with her brother on the basketball court and continued running. After a couple of minutes I decided to shut off my machine and go see what was up.

Turns out my son was not the culprit today, it was another boy she was guarding (or trying to) in what was supposed to be a friendly game of basketball among children.

According to her account, the boy was aggressive and rude the entire game towards her, he slapped her at one point, pushed her down and told her “You’re a girl, you can’t guard me!”

Source: FreeDigitalPhotos.net by Prawny

Step One: Find the Boy.

We set off to find this young man. Calmly and purposefully. When he saw Ice he started to bolt in the other direction with his little sister. Ice asked him to stop and follow him to the front of the gym.

Step Two: Ask for assistance from the staff.

Ice asked for the help of the man behind the front desk in resolving the issue.

Step Three: Give our daughter a chance to tell her side of the story and look this child in the eye.

We let her speak and then asked the other child if what she re-told was what he thought happened. Was it easy for her? Not at all. But it was so important for her to stand up for herself with our support and encouragement. She had been really shaken up until this point and rather than be the victim I felt it was so important for her to gain back her composure and some of her control of the situation.

Step Four: Arrive at the truth.

When the boy denied the events happening or his involvement in them my husband told him the best thing to do was to tell the truth otherwise we would be waiting for the staff to find his parents and get them involved. He re-considered his position and agreed that he had been physical with her and abusive with his words. We asked if there was anything else he wanted to say and he apologized.

Step Five: Accept the apology.

Our daughter looked him in the eye and hard as it was I could tell she really meant what she said when she accepted his apology.

Step Six: Try and re-cap the lesson.

Ice told him not to pick on others. “Girls can do anything boys can do”, he said. “And if you were my son, I would want to tell you it’s never a good idea to run from your problems because they only double in size.”

Step Seven: Close the loop with the staff.

Ice approached the front desk to let them know the entire turn of events and provide our name and number for the child’s parents to get in touch with us if they wanted to discuss anything.

So far we have not heard anything. But I do hope that this child really stopped, whether then or later in the day, to let it sink in that what he did was wrong.

There are so many other ways that this turn of events could have been handled. But I feel so much more at peace with how it was handled. Calm, firm, up-front, transparent.

Not every situation can be so cut and dry. Circumstances can be so much more serious, less controlled, lacking any adult supervision in the vicinity and on and on… But when I asked my daughter to recount for me what happened today, she had a better handle on it than I did. I actually consulted her before sitting down to put this to words. She truly was impacted by what happened and walked away stronger for it.

I am so proud of her and my husband.

© Jennifer Scheidt and Titanimom, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jennifer Scheidt and Titanimom with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.